Tertia Albertyn and her beautiful family

Izimvo has the great honour of introducing the courageous Tertia Albertyn.

Tertia’s blog (www.tertia.org) is about her struggle to have children was judged the top blog in the country in 2007 and again in 2008. Her book ‘So Close’, based on her blog and detailing her five-year battle with infertility was released in South Africa in August 2006 and on Amazon in 2009. The book was a finalist in the 2007 Lulu Blooker Awards.

She recently founded ‘Nurture Egg Donor Program’ (www.nurture.co.za) bringing hope to infertile couples all over the world. Tertia has a MBA from the University of Cape Town and her day job is with IBM. She lives in Cape Town with her husband and three children.

Website: http://www.tertia.org/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/Tertia
Location: Cape Town

Tertia was kind enough to answer the following questions for us:

Personal

Q: The all important personal profile. How would a close friend introduce you at a social event? i.e. Name, age, company, interesting fact etc.

A: Tertia Albertyn (nee Loebenberg) is a recovering infertile and now mother to twins conceived on her 9th IVF plus another ‘surprise!’ baby who is now 6 months old.

Q: Tell us something that not many others know about you. This could be anything from a phobia to your favorite movie.

A: I am a very odd person, but I am in touch with my inner crazy and as I get older, I learn to embrace my inner oddness and care less and less about social norms and niceties. I am who I am, take it or leave it. It is incredibly liberating not to worry what other people think of you.

Other interesting facts….I am scared of birds. I don’t like being near any bird that is able to fly near my head. I have a thing about birds and my head. Clearly.

I don’t like movies or movies on TV. I can’t get over the fact that it is not real. You are not XYZ, you are Tom Cruise pretending to be XYZ. Why would I want to watch you do that? I hate movies.

I can’t cook. I don’t cook. At all. I don’t even know how my oven works.

I am very fond of Chardonnay(this is not a secret).

My husband is five years younger than I am. Cradle snatcher!

I have been married for almost 10 years. My longest relationship before that was 10 months.

My husband is not allowed to touch me while I am sleeping. I have a line in the middle of the bed. None of his body parts may cross that line while I am sleeping. There is some for touching, but NOT WHILE I AM SLEEPING.

I don’t hug. I don’t like to be touched unnecessarily. I do however like sex. Just not while I am sleeping, and if I am sleeping, do not wake me. That was a joke.

I have sensory issues (touch and noise) and I am slightly ADHD. Which means I better move on before I lose concentration.

Q: What do you enjoy doing when you want to get away from it all?

A: I have a full-time job, a business to run, a baby, twin preschoolers plus staff. I never get away from it all. But if I had to, I would probably work. My work (www.nurture.co.za) is my passion, my hobby, my love, my life.

Fertility Treatment in South Africa

Q: Your twins were conceived on your 9th IVF treatment. How did you and your husband stay positive during this time and was there ever a stage when you thought of stopping?

A: With lots of support from my cyber friends in the interwebs and with lots of wine, fags and happy pills. It was tough, and there were times I wanted to stop, but stopping (and facing the thought of a childless future) was always scarier than carrying on with the next treatment.

Q: Where did you first hear about egg donation and when did you and your husband decide that this is what you wanted to try?

A: My twins weren’t conceived with egg donation. I was lucky enough to conceive with my own eggs, but egg donation was something we seriously considered along the way.

Q: You co-founded Nurture, an egg donor and surrogacy programme, with Melany Bartok. What was the impetus for starting the company and how has the response been?

A: For years I have wanted to be involved with helping other people have their families, and have always wondered how I could help when one day the idea just came to me – egg donation. The response has been overwhelming, we have way exceeded our most optimistic expectations and have helped over 200 people with egg donors.

Q: In your experience, what are the main reasons why women become egg donors or surrogate mothers?

A: These women, those who become egg donors or surrogates are the most amazing women. They are the type of women that care deeply about their fellow humans. They volunteer, they recycle, they care. You know how you just get some really amazing people? These are those type of people. Many of them have seen friends or family struggle and know what it is like to go through this pain.

Q: What advice would you offer woman looking for or who have started fertility treatment?

A: Do NOT waste any more time, go see a fertility specialist immediately. Eggs have an expiry date, it doesn’t matter how fit you are, how well you look on the outside, your eggs have an expiry date, and it is sooner than you think. Do not take your fertility for granted, and do not leave it too late.

Life in South Africa

Q: Have you or any of your immediate family been affected by crime? If yes, has it changed your perception of the country and the way you and your family live your lives?

A: I am extremely fortunate in that we haven’t been affected by serious crime. I get nervous even saying that because I know how prevalent crime is. I am constantly aware of the threat of crime, but I can’t imagine myself living any where else.

Q: Have you ever considered emigration? If yes, where do you think you would emigrate to?

A: I have, I am sure the thought has crossed every South African’s mind at some point, but I have never seriously considered it. I don’t think I could live anywhere else but here in SA.

Q: If you had an opportunity to sit down with the president, what advice would you offer him?

A: Please make sure that you and the other officials don’t fuck this country up. We have so much to offer, we have such a beautiful country. Be ruthless with corruption, stand a firm stand against any type of crime. Lead by example.

Q: To which three attractions would you first take an international visitor?

A: Moyo at Spier, the Waterfront, wine route.

Life in Cape Town

Q: Which kid friendly restaurant do you consider to be the most adult friendly?

A: We aren’t big on eating out, so I don’t have too much for this one. Saturday breakfast at Willowbridge our favourite thing.

Q: What are your favorite places to take the family on those perfect summer days?

A: It doesn’t really matter where we go, everything is a big adventure for my kids. But we do like to go down to the local dam to feed the ducks. Or anywhere with water (beach, little streams).

Q: What about living in Cape Town are you most proud of?

A: The beauty of the place, the gorgeous summers and the friendly people.

General

Q: As a business woman and mother of 3, how do you find the balance between work and home life?

A: Ah, the eternal question – one to which there is no perfect answer. I wouldn’t be able to do any of what I do without help. I have the most amazing nanny and without her, I wouldn’t survive. My precious work time is in the morning when the kids are at school. I get three good hours in then. The rest I make up early morning and late at night. It is always a delicate balance between making sure I am there for the kids, and then putting in the hours necessary to earn a living. My poor husband gets the short end of the stick I’m afraid. However my kids are always my first priority.

Q: If you were able to pick anyone as your mentor, who would it be and why?

A: That is an excellent question and one that I am grappling with at the moment. I am looking for a mentor. I would like someone to bounce ideas off and to get guidance from. Being a specialized field, I don’t have too many people to choose from, but I am on the lookout currently. I would like someone who has started their own business from scratch, someone who is entrepreneurial and who has gone global. But mostly I want someone who runs their business the way I do, with heart. Every decision I make, I make with heart and feeling. Sounds wishy washy, but it works for us. I like to be able to sleep at night with a clear conscience. So, if you have any suggestions for me, I would love to hear!

Q: Where would you like to wake up tomorrow?

A: Right here at home. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my home and my family. I love being at home. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Q: One book that you would make required reading for all matric pupils?

Q: My book? ;-) probably scare the living daylights out of them. Not sure actually. I either read business books or baby books, I don’t have time for anything else.

Q: Who would you most like to read about on Izimvo?

A: Inspirational real life stories of women who have made a difference, or have made it big.

We’d like to thank Tertia for taking the time to answer our questions and wish her every success for the future.