Tertia Albertyn and her beautiful family

Izimvo has the great honour of introducing the courageous Tertia Albertyn.

Tertia’s blog (www.tertia.org) is about her struggle to have children was judged the top blog in the country in 2007 and again in 2008. Her book ‘So Close’, based on her blog and detailing her five-year battle with infertility was released in South Africa in August 2006 and on Amazon in 2009. The book was a finalist in the 2007 Lulu Blooker Awards.

She recently founded ‘Nurture Egg Donor Program’ (www.nurture.co.za) bringing hope to infertile couples all over the world. Tertia has a MBA from the University of Cape Town and her day job is with IBM. She lives in Cape Town with her husband and three children.

Website: http://www.tertia.org/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/Tertia
Location: Cape Town

Tertia was kind enough to answer the following questions for us:

Personal

Q: The all important personal profile. How would a close friend introduce you at a social event? i.e. Name, age, company, interesting fact etc.

A: Tertia Albertyn (nee Loebenberg) is a recovering infertile and now mother to twins conceived on her 9th IVF plus another ‘surprise!’ baby who is now 6 months old.

Q: Tell us something that not many others know about you. This could be anything from a phobia to your favorite movie.

A: I am a very odd person, but I am in touch with my inner crazy and as I get older, I learn to embrace my inner oddness and care less and less about social norms and niceties. I am who I am, take it or leave it. It is incredibly liberating not to worry what other people think of you.

Other interesting facts….I am scared of birds. I don’t like being near any bird that is able to fly near my head. I have a thing about birds and my head. Clearly.

I don’t like movies or movies on TV. I can’t get over the fact that it is not real. You are not XYZ, you are Tom Cruise pretending to be XYZ. Why would I want to watch you do that? I hate movies.

I can’t cook. I don’t cook. At all. I don’t even know how my oven works.

I am very fond of Chardonnay(this is not a secret).

My husband is five years younger than I am. Cradle snatcher!

I have been married for almost 10 years. My longest relationship before that was 10 months.

My husband is not allowed to touch me while I am sleeping. I have a line in the middle of the bed. None of his body parts may cross that line while I am sleeping. There is some for touching, but NOT WHILE I AM SLEEPING.

I don’t hug. I don’t like to be touched unnecessarily. I do however like sex. Just not while I am sleeping, and if I am sleeping, do not wake me. That was a joke.

I have sensory issues (touch and noise) and I am slightly ADHD. Which means I better move on before I lose concentration.

Q: What do you enjoy doing when you want to get away from it all?

A: I have a full-time job, a business to run, a baby, twin preschoolers plus staff. I never get away from it all. But if I had to, I would probably work. My work (www.nurture.co.za) is my passion, my hobby, my love, my life.

Fertility Treatment in South Africa

Q: Your twins were conceived on your 9th IVF treatment. How did you and your husband stay positive during this time and was there ever a stage when you thought of stopping?

A: With lots of support from my cyber friends in the interwebs and with lots of wine, fags and happy pills. It was tough, and there were times I wanted to stop, but stopping (and facing the thought of a childless future) was always scarier than carrying on with the next treatment.

Q: Where did you first hear about egg donation and when did you and your husband decide that this is what you wanted to try?

A: My twins weren’t conceived with egg donation. I was lucky enough to conceive with my own eggs, but egg donation was something we seriously considered along the way.

Q: You co-founded Nurture, an egg donor and surrogacy programme, with Melany Bartok. What was the impetus for starting the company and how has the response been?

A: For years I have wanted to be involved with helping other people have their families, and have always wondered how I could help when one day the idea just came to me – egg donation. The response has been overwhelming, we have way exceeded our most optimistic expectations and have helped over 200 people with egg donors.

Q: In your experience, what are the main reasons why women become egg donors or surrogate mothers?

A: These women, those who become egg donors or surrogates are the most amazing women. They are the type of women that care deeply about their fellow humans. They volunteer, they recycle, they care. You know how you just get some really amazing people? These are those type of people. Many of them have seen friends or family struggle and know what it is like to go through this pain.

Q: What advice would you offer woman looking for or who have started fertility treatment?

A: Do NOT waste any more time, go see a fertility specialist immediately. Eggs have an expiry date, it doesn’t matter how fit you are, how well you look on the outside, your eggs have an expiry date, and it is sooner than you think. Do not take your fertility for granted, and do not leave it too late.

Life in South Africa

Q: Have you or any of your immediate family been affected by crime? If yes, has it changed your perception of the country and the way you and your family live your lives?

A: I am extremely fortunate in that we haven’t been affected by serious crime. I get nervous even saying that because I know how prevalent crime is. I am constantly aware of the threat of crime, but I can’t imagine myself living any where else.

Q: Have you ever considered emigration? If yes, where do you think you would emigrate to?

A: I have, I am sure the thought has crossed every South African’s mind at some point, but I have never seriously considered it. I don’t think I could live anywhere else but here in SA.

Q: If you had an opportunity to sit down with the president, what advice would you offer him?

A: Please make sure that you and the other officials don’t fuck this country up. We have so much to offer, we have such a beautiful country. Be ruthless with corruption, stand a firm stand against any type of crime. Lead by example.

Q: To which three attractions would you first take an international visitor?

A: Moyo at Spier, the Waterfront, wine route.

Life in Cape Town

Q: Which kid friendly restaurant do you consider to be the most adult friendly?

A: We aren’t big on eating out, so I don’t have too much for this one. Saturday breakfast at Willowbridge our favourite thing.

Q: What are your favorite places to take the family on those perfect summer days?

A: It doesn’t really matter where we go, everything is a big adventure for my kids. But we do like to go down to the local dam to feed the ducks. Or anywhere with water (beach, little streams).

Q: What about living in Cape Town are you most proud of?

A: The beauty of the place, the gorgeous summers and the friendly people.

General

Q: As a business woman and mother of 3, how do you find the balance between work and home life?

A: Ah, the eternal question – one to which there is no perfect answer. I wouldn’t be able to do any of what I do without help. I have the most amazing nanny and without her, I wouldn’t survive. My precious work time is in the morning when the kids are at school. I get three good hours in then. The rest I make up early morning and late at night. It is always a delicate balance between making sure I am there for the kids, and then putting in the hours necessary to earn a living. My poor husband gets the short end of the stick I’m afraid. However my kids are always my first priority.

Q: If you were able to pick anyone as your mentor, who would it be and why?

A: That is an excellent question and one that I am grappling with at the moment. I am looking for a mentor. I would like someone to bounce ideas off and to get guidance from. Being a specialized field, I don’t have too many people to choose from, but I am on the lookout currently. I would like someone who has started their own business from scratch, someone who is entrepreneurial and who has gone global. But mostly I want someone who runs their business the way I do, with heart. Every decision I make, I make with heart and feeling. Sounds wishy washy, but it works for us. I like to be able to sleep at night with a clear conscience. So, if you have any suggestions for me, I would love to hear!

Q: Where would you like to wake up tomorrow?

A: Right here at home. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my home and my family. I love being at home. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Q: One book that you would make required reading for all matric pupils?

Q: My book? ;-) probably scare the living daylights out of them. Not sure actually. I either read business books or baby books, I don’t have time for anything else.

Q: Who would you most like to read about on Izimvo?

A: Inspirational real life stories of women who have made a difference, or have made it big.

We’d like to thank Tertia for taking the time to answer our questions and wish her every success for the future.

Deborah Andrews with Tyson, Xavier and Kayla

Izimvo has the pleasure of introducing Deborah Andrews, the inspiration behind MomsMatter – a free resource directory for families.

MomsMatter was born as a way for moms to have instant, 24/7 access to a comprehensive, informative and fun resource directory of family-friendly products and services.

The directory, which provides free listings, is the prefect destination when searching for kids activities, party ideas, crafts & hobbies, family fun and so much more.

Website: http://www.momsmatter.co.za
Twitter: http://twitter.com/momsmatter

Deborah was kind enough to answer the following questions for us:

Personal

Q: The all important personal profile. How would a close friend introduce you at a social event? i.e. Name, age, company, interesting fact etc.

A: Meet Deborah, the tall Aussie Chick.

Q: Tell us something that not many others know about you. This could be anything from a phobia to your favorite movie.

A: I can cross-stitch like a champ (even if I do say so myself!).

Q: What do you enjoy doing when you want to get away from it all?

A: We are currently developing our dream eco-estate on the Gonubie River in East London with 9 other families. Whenever we get a chance (and a couple of DVD’s for the kids on the long trip) we head down there. It’s like a whole other world in the middle of civilization. The first time we took our little girl, I thought she was going to spontaneously combust with the excitement of chasing the chickens. Shame, the poor chickens…

If anyone ever wonders why East London also features on MomsMatter – that’s why! One day we will move down there to live in Gonubie, and I want to know what’s happening there for me and my family!

Business in South Africa

Q: What was the impetus for starting the Moms Matter family resource directory?

A: MomsMatter is a passion that I have been fortunate to be able to follow. Late last year I decided to create a resource directory that doesn’t discriminate against those small businesses who may not be able to afford to be advertise in every family mini-mag that comes out each month.

As a mom in Durban, I believe that I should know about EVERYTHING that can make my life easier, not just who can afford the extravagant advertising prices. I wanted a genuinely comprehensive list of options for my daily life as a mom. So I bought a book about web development, got the domain registered and starting pushing buttons on the PC.

I am constantly looking for new products or services that can contribute positively to family life – many of the listings don’t even know they are on there!

Q: As a business woman and mother of 3, how do you find the balance between work and home life?

A: I don’t! If any mom has truly worked this out… please contact me URGENTLY!

Q: What are your aspirations for the website?

A: When I started this site, I began by sending the link to my address book. Even though I found the information valuable (and my husband said I was BRILLIANT – of course!) I wasn’t sure what they would think of it. Thankfully my wonderful friends continued to share the news with their friends, and a year later the site receives over 14,000 visitors a month.

My vision for MomsMatter is that every mom in Durban with access to the www, will turn to MomsMatter for helping them make decisions about their day-to-day family life. I am very proud of this extension of my own wants and needs – and it is driven by the pure aspiration of making life easier for moms. It is so exciting to know that I can make a difference in other’s lives. Each compliment I receive is printed out and stuck up on my wall with prestik!

I am proud that no business can ‘buy’ their way onto the site. MomsMatter is genuinely looking out for the moms!

Q: What advice would you offer to other stay-at-home mothers wanting to start their own businesses?

A: I’ve read the books so I can repeat how important it is to separate your work and home life, but oh! I can’t do it myself. I try very hard to work my bum off in the mornings while the kids are at school and then do the ‘mom-thing’ in the afternoons, but it rarely happens that way. The PC seems to call me as I walk in the door after the school run, and my ‘just 5 minutes’ inevitably ends when the kids come into my office at 5pm asking what’s for dinner.

Late nights are a big part of work-at-home, and while those that don’t work at home may be jealous of my ability to attend the kids’ school play, or do my library duty, what they don’t see is that I’m working until 2am to make up for those hours that I ‘took off’ during the day.

I get frustrated that as a mom working from home I don’t seem to get the same respect as an employed mom gets. I am sure that other moms think I just fiddle around all day – but creating and maintaining a website isn’t as easy as it looks … just ask Shaun & Marc!

Life in South Africa

Q: Have you or any of your immediate family been affected by crime? If yes, has it changed your perception of the country and the way you and your family live your lives?

A: Yes, we have had our share of events, luckily none involved any physical harm to me or my family though. In the heat of the moment I usually start eyeing off my Aussie passport, but I haven’t made any plans so far. Crime happens everywhere – even in Australia. We just have to be as vigilant as we can be.

Q: Have you ever considered emigration? If yes, where do you think you would emigrate to?

A: I am an Australian ex-pat, having moved here for lurve in 1999 (the things we do!). My Grandpa made me promise never to give up my Australian passport, so I am a Permanent Resident of South Africa with no ID because my application has been ‘lost’ 3 times and I’ve since given up. (Now I can pay taxes, but I can’t rent a DVD.) Because of my Australian citizenship, my children can become Aussies in about 6 weeks turn-around, so it will always be an option for us, however certainly not on the short term plans.

I miss having family around though – another attraction to ‘emigrate’ to Gonubie where Mark’s family is.

Q: If you were South African president for just one day, what would you change?

A: I wouldn’t know what to do! Much easier to sit on this side of the fence and have a bitch!

Q: To which three attractions would you first take an international visitor?

A: Ushaka Marine World, La Lucia Mall and a braai in own back yard – life in South Africa truly is spectactular!

Life in Durban

Q: What are your favorite places to take the family on those perfect Durban summer days?

A: I know of a wonderful resource for discovering what’s going on each weekend for families….!

Luckily for me, maintaining the MomsMatter database means I have first-hand knowledge of all the fantastic outings and events going on right under our noses. We just don’t have enough time to get to everything!

Q: What is the one thing, that for you, defines Durban?

A: The weather.

General

Q: What are you going to buy yourself as a 40th birthday present?

A: I don’t want to talk about it.

Q: Favorite South African sporting moment of the last 10 years?

A: When the Virginia Under 7’s E Team was presented with their team trophies at the end of the soccer season. Thought my heart would burst with pride!

Q: One book that you would make required reading for all matric pupils?

A: The dictionary. I am horrified at the current state of grammar and spelling. What happened to Spelling Bees?

Q: Favorite South African band? Have you seen them live and do you own at least one of their albums?

A: Mango Groove will always be a favourite. I have been lucky to meet Claire and she is just beautiful. I love love LOVE their music, there’s  just something in there that gets you right into the beat.

Q: Who would you most like to read about on Izimvo?

A: I can’t even guess who will be featured next! I am honoured to be in such company. You guys are providing such a wonderfully positive snippet of South Africans (of which I proudly consider myself – just with a bit of a Aussie twang!).

A massive thank you to Deborah for taking the time to answer our questions. We wish her and the team at MomsMatter every success for the future.

Catherine Jenkin

Izimvo would like to introduce Catherine Jenkin.

Catherine is the IT Manager for HIV911, a comprehensive guide to HIV/AIDS-related support services in South Africa.

Website: http://www.cathjenkin.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/cathjenkin
Location: Durban

Catherine was kind enough to answer the following questions for us:

Personal

Q: The all important personal profile. How would a close friend introduce you at a social event? i.e. Name, age, company, interesting fact etc.

A: A close friend introduce me? Hehe. Something along the lines of “Everything. All at once. And yes, she is this short”. In truth though, I’m headed towards 30 with a big stick, and currently oscillating between fear and excitement about it.

Q: Tell us something that not many others know about you. This could be anything from a phobia to your favorite movie.

A: I’m allergic to aspirin, liars and idiots.

Q: What do you enjoy doing when you want to get away from it all?

A: Truth is, I haven’t ‘gotten away from it all’ in a very, very long time. This week I’ve spent in Cape Town recently has been the first time for as long as I can remember where I have truly relaxed. And heavens, it’s gorgeous.

Working for an NGO

Q: Please could you give us a brief description of exactly what HIV911 does?

A: HIV-911 is a national referral network of HIV/AIDS service providers. Our database spans nearly 13 000 HIV/AIDS and social welfare-related organizations across the country.

Now, because a database is just a database, we focus on enabling and empowering people – from other HIV/AIDS service providers, prospective funders, and the man on the street, to access critical information on what’s really happening around HIV/AIDS in their chosen area in South Africa.

We produce, annually, hard copy directories for each province, enable easy database searches via our website and run a referral/data collection centre. We’re also very excited to be moving into utlising mobile technologies. Watch this space because that’ what’s really got me excited at the moment!

Q: What is the typical day like as the IT Manager of HIV911?

A: Insane. Hehe. Our office opens at 07h30 and it’s entirely common for me to work late into the night from home, after Cam has gone to bed.

I run on caffeine, Earl Grey tea and regular smoke breaks. The truth is, though, were it not for an exciting environment, inspirational management team and dedicated staff, I would be a complete madwoman.

The biggest hurdle of every day for me is annihilating my inbox and keeping up to date with what’s going on in the world that has an influence on our work from an IT perspective, and keeping an eye out for new opportunities that could improve our accessibility and operations.

Q: Which social media services have you found to be most affective when publicising HIV911?

A: We have a pretty exciting partnership coming into being that’s I’m terribly excited about, but I won’t talk about until the launch. That said, though, Twitter has presented us with a myriad of opportunities and connections, that have proven to be hugely exciting and liberating.

Q: As a mother of a young child, how will you talk to your child about HIV? What age do you think parents should start talking to their children about the disease?

A: Ah, my Camster. Part of my daily routine with Cameron is talking about our days, and obviously the topic of HIV/AIDS has come into the conversation.

I think it is essential to normalize HIV/AIDS in our society, and in our conversations. True, HIV infection can be prevented on a personal level but, the socio-economic and interpersonal effects are so tied into every day life now, that it needs to become acknowledged not just as a disease but, as a fact of life, specifically in the South African context.

So, yes, we’ve spoken about it, in very simple terms, but I’ve not moved into the “how does one get it” realm and suchlike. Cam knows that what “mommy does on her computer” is about “helping sick people and their families”. I think that’s a good start for a four-year old!

Life in South Africa

Q: Have you or any of your immediate family been affected by crime? If yes, has it changed your perception of the country and the way you and your family live your lives?

A: Unfortunately, yes. Cam and I had our house ransacked and numerous items stolen in March this year, and her dad’s had two cars stolen. It’s a scary experience, and worst of all, it’s the thinking we all have of “well, at least noone was hurt” that scares me mostly.

The truth is, we shouldn’t have to live like that. But, I believe in this country, more than I believe in the goodness of cheese on toast, so no, I won’t be leaving. My sister lives in the UK, and the rest of my family live in Durban.

Q: Have you ever considered emigration? If yes, where do you think you would emigrate to?

A: Yes, I have, very seriously. The UK and Canada. But, as I said, I love this gorgeous country a little too much to leave it.

Q: If you were South African president for just one day, what would you change?

A: As terribly un-human rights-related as it sounds, but I would institute instant castration or hand-removal for all child and animal abusers.

Q: To which three attractions would you first take an international visitor?

A: To be honest, I’m not into conventional sightseeing.

In Durban – The Centre for Rehabilitation of Wildlife (CROW). My mom works there, and the amazing care and love that comes with devoted staff, and a love for animals shines right through. Plus, I grew up around the corner from the Centre!

In Cape Town – Camps Bay. For cocktails in La Med. It’s beautiful. Just serene and gorgeous.

In Johannesburg – Gold Reef City. Mainly so that I can prove that we know how to have fun, with a South African twist. I had such a good time there recently, avoiding the rollercoasters though!

Life in Durban

Q: Where do you most enjoy spending that “Me” time in Durban?

A: At home, in our little garden. Sunshine, reading and playing with Cam.

Q: What are your survival tips for local Durban residents during the December influx of holiday makers?

A: Stay home and rent DVDS, or get your Vitamin D rations in your own garden. Avoid the regular tourist attractions like the plague. Hehe.

General

Q: What are you going to buy yourself as a 40th birthday present?

A: Wow. 40th? I’m battling with the notion of turning 30 already. But, as a 40th birthday present, I’d want to be able to walk into a bookstore and purchase my own novel. That’s a hell of a goal, I know.

Q: One book that you would make required reading for all matric pupils?

A: The Outliers – Malcolm Gladwell. Thank you to Justin Hartman for the recommendation. It reminded me of how lucky I am. And how hard work is worth every second.

Q: Favorite South African band? Have you seen them live and do you own at least one of their albums?

A: I have numerous favourite Durban bands (and they know very well who they are :) but the two most well-known, I think are: The Parlotones and Fire Through the Window. And yeah, I’ve seen both live numerous times and own their albums.

Q: Who would you most like to read about on Izimvo?

A: Mmm. Sue Rutherford of The Forge. Now there’s a dedicated, inspirational and hard-working woman if I ever met one. I’m lucky enough to call her my friend.

A big thank you to Catherine and the others at HIV911 for the amazing work they do on a daily basis. We look forward to hearing about the new mobile venture and wish you all the success for the future. Thank you for being a true inspiration.